Our most recent posts have mainly been Ben so today I am taking control and answering a very common question. How do I cope with Ben being away and do we mix with other families?
In order to honestly share how I feel about Ben’s job away playing racing cars with the lads half the year I need to explain how our relationship works as it’s different for everyone and some people would enjoy the time apart.
He really is the other half to me, any other person i’ve ever had a relationship with I could’ve coped with the time apart, just not Ben. He is my best friend, we never argue, we never get sick of each other, we’re that couple that could actually work together all day and go home and still find things to talk about, so it is like losing a part of myself when he goes away, I also feel like I lose any control over my own life & career.
I am not blessed with much family especially since my mum passed away last june 2 days after the baby was born, I literally have my best friend and one other to ask for any sort of help with anything This is something else to bear in mind, some may have a lot of family close by so are able to carry on normal life whereas I am not.
Much as Ben says do whatever I want to with my life he’ll support me whatever and we’ll find a way, physically this is impossible when he is away, my bestie has a full time job and my other help has two small ones herself so there are times I may want help but simply cannot have it, how can I go out to do a job on set days at set times of the week when from May till September every year that reliable back up disappears.
So from this point of view I feel like my life is on hold, I can’t do everything I want to as his work is the dominating force in our lives, he already has his career before we got together so I simply have to be the one sacrificing as I knew this was his life when i decided to enter into a relationship with him.
When it comes to mixing with other families, I have met other wives of Ben’s work colleagues, although the ones i’ve met had much older children than we have, more recently we’ve met other couples and families within Motorsport rather than F1 in particular that we’ve hit it off with, so there are some blossoming friendships growing there. I’ve not wanted to intrude on Ben’s friends within work as in the real world with any other job they are HIS friends not mine, but we do have a few meet ups planned in the next few months so I will meet a few more.
As we’ve said before you have to love the sport to work in it & I wholeheartedly believe now I have experience of it myself that it takes a special sort of person to be with someone who works within any kind of Motorsport
© Sandra & Ben Hebbourn 2015